Driving Adventures!

I am a delivery driver now! This job is awesome because I do not have to deal with people and all of their stupid questions all day long. Just cool dudes who work at auto shops. It’s a don’t shoot the messenger kind of job (which is AWESOME!) so whenever there is a problem I tell them to call the store to get it fixed and I will deliver the right part if that is what is needed to help fix the situation.

Here’s what happened today.

Storytime Driving Adventures with Adryan!

So, I need to pull into traffic and will be taking a right turn, people are coming but this one car has Its turn signal on and is going about 3 miles per hour (sue me, I am exaggerating a wee bit, she was probably going 20 in a 30, for a delivery driver it’s the same darn thing). So I’m like, cool, she is totally turning.

Nope.

The crazy behind the wheel seems to notice that I am rolling forward. Maybe a thought bubble appeared above my car telling her that I fully intended to pull out in front of her. Whatever the case, she speeds up just as I decide to pull out, her blinker still blinking It’s life away. I did not hit her but it was a close thing, she was all giving me that face like “How dare you try to drive here when I am clearly driving in this space, at this time”. Yes, her face really did say all of that in the two seconds I saw it as she drove by. I mouthed the word “Blinker” but that’s the best I could do at that moment.

I pull out right behind her because it was clear (ish). A block or two goes by, her signal still signaling its false signal and then the signal turns off so I give her a disgruntled two thumbs up. I swear to cookies I really did give her two thumbs up, not two middle fingers. It was two thumbs up that said, “Congratulations you idiot you found your turn signal and now it is off! Good job! Have a gold freakin’ star!”

The proper hand signs can say a lot. Facial expressions too.

Then her blinker is back on and she actually turns into a gas station. I give her another thumbs up for doing such a great job at using her turn signal correctly.

I think she pulled into a parking lot just to flip me off, because as I drove by she had on an anger face and one finger in the air. Hint: It was not her thumb.

But! I was thoroughly pissed at her and totally saw her bird coming so I did the super adult thing and gave one back to her. I also made a really ugly face. Cause that’s how I roll.

The lovely thing about being a delivery driver is that I can tell people exactly how I feel, they can’t hear me, but that’s ok, I still said it.

Thank you for tuning in!

-Adryan