Something I Do When I’m Down

This is Tae, and this is a little blurb I felt like writing. Okay, it took me like two hours, but it’s not that great, so I’m calling it a blurb. When I get down in the dumps I write, usually something depressing, so beware. Although this isn’t that bad, just… weird. And poorly written. I was super into the first half, but near the end I lost interest and realized I’d ruined it anyway. So sorry about that. I hope it keeps you interested though, and if you have any comments or anything, feel free to share!

It was a somber day, dreary and bleaker than any I’d seen in my lifetime. The wind was silent as though it sat on its haunches like a tiger waiting for something to attack. Clouds hung heavy in the sky, not even a trace of blue leaking through the moisture they held. As the silence of the world around me threatened to suffocate me, the sound of rain hitting the frozen ground resounded like thunder through my vacant thoughts. My face felt numb in the cold and the drops of water felt to me like bullets.

Not every day was as cold as this one – the rain froze faster than it could fall. Sharp tips of frigid grass pointed towards the sky like a throng of soldiers. The scent of fresh morning dew and frost soared through the windless space and over the endless fields. I could not see any end. Not forests, not rivers or creeks or the sea, nor mountains or caves or cracks in the ground. All I saw was the eternity of hills and valleys blending into one, filled with daffodils and violets, sunflowers and blue bells, wheat and barley, roses and daisies; various forms of plants growing taller than thought to be normal.

The sky, however, remained bleak; disinterested in the array of volatile life growing beneath its dark edges. No sun peaked through to light up the hills before me, no wind fluttered through my hair to drift listlessly into the petals and leaves. The smell of the effervescent things around me did not even reach my cold nose. Only the sound and touch of rain made me aware that my senses still functioned, and even those caused me pain and irritation I wish I could brush away. In the back of my thoughts I recognized frustration. Why couldn’t I smell the beautiful scene around me? Why couldn’t I feel the wind, hear it as it fluttered through the foliage? Why wouldn’t the sky open like I wanted my heart to so I could experience the entirety of this beauty I was in the midst of?

My heart was still in my chest. It did not give recognition to my body that I was indeed in a land many people would call “paradise.” I instead found that I did not feel excited, nor happy, nor sorrowful – the only thing I felt was frustration. Knowing that did not even deter me into confusion.

Then before my glazed eyes, the beauty changed. Lightning stabbed at the flawless earth and split it in two, and I watched in passive wonder as flames sprouted from the newly formed crevice. In a matter of seconds, the fire ate at the fields until all that was left was charred dirt. Smoke billowed into the air, darkening the already shadowy clouds, and embers flaked across the earth as though beckoning the wind to carry it into more life to destroy.

A bout of smoke wafted in front of my eyes, concealing the land before them for brief moments. When my vision was once again open to the desolation, the land was now filled with something different: people. Soldiers. They all stood facing me, a infinite amount standing at attention, with me at the center. Uniforms of dark green and bands of black around their sleeves with a familiar windmill shape stamped on in red. The way they gazed towards me unnerved the part of my brain that functioned, and I realized what was so alarming. None of these soldiers had eyes or noses, only a smile that reminded me of the Cheshire cat. Their teeth were caked over with blackened blood, their own lips cracked and freshly bleeding. Flesh was stripped off of many of their bones, and I noticed briefly that their tissue-less skulls also had no eye sockets.

The leader of this army was standing slightly to my left with his arm tilted at an angle towards the sky, like a salute that I vaguely recognized. No sooner did my eyes land on his stance than the soldiers surrounding the two of us mimicked the same salute. Shivers travelled through my body, chilling my already frozen skin. It was at this time I noticed something else about the leader: he held a bayonet in his upraised hand. The bayonet was covered in blood. Lightning flashed once more amidst the soldiers only a few feet in front of my form, and that flash of light brought memories into my stale brain.

There had been a war, and I had been among the opposition. We started out in a marching formation, three quadrants, separated equally among the fields of flowers I had seen before. The numbers were greater than that of our enemy, and in that we took faith that we would emerge victorious. However… there were multiple bombers hidden in our flanks. From behind we heard vicious explosions and screams of terror as various parts of my comrades fell on us like the rain that fell now; more than ten enemy bombs hidden in the core of each quadrant. We were wiped out before a shot was fired.

I survived. The enemy had lit the fields on fire to scar our homeland, and surrounded me as the last living soul. A tall man had walked up to me, tall with pride – the leader I had recognized. His bayonet was out and into the air before my thoughts could catch up. There are so many things you can see when your head gets separated from your body. A clean and fresh cut can sever all of the feelings you had sensed before that fatal moment. My head did not fall for a mere few seconds, and yet I felt only frustration. The rain continued to pelt my face, as though the sky wanted my head to descend, and eventually it did.

As my eyes fluttered in the last throes of death, they stared once more at the sky. Clouds spread open to reveal a glittering sun, the army around me had dissipated and the flowers returned. When I collapsed, it did not hurt, but felt as though feathers were piled ridiculously high off the earth. The scent of a million different petals reached my senses and I heard myself laugh joyously. The pain was gone, the death was gone, and the sorrow and hatred of war was gone.

What difference does a war make when I am dead?


About Introvert1and2

This blog is more about us. Two introvert sisters with a ten year age difference, though we are very alike in a lot of ways. The older of the two is Adryan, who currently holds three part time jobs, two of which deal with the public. The younger is Taelor, a fresh from highschool graduate (as of June 2013) who has recently started her first job. We both have very laid back attitudes and don't really get into fights all that often. Usually when there is an altercation, one side or the other is hit with this terrible thing called "reason" which causes the loser of said conversation to bow out. There isn't always grace involved, most often a comment like, "Well, if you're going to make sense" is involved but no hard feelings are held. And, you guessed it, we are introverts. I will go more into that in our blog! Which we will both, occasionally, leave posts and will sign our names at the top and bottom so you know who you are reading about. I hope we don't bore you to death. (In our pics, Taelor (younger) is wearing the World of Warcraft shirt, and Adryan (older) is the one tugging on Taelor's ear.) Update: 2015 Adryan (older) now works as a delivery driver for an auto parts store, while Taelor (the younger) moved to California in 2014 and has recently moved back home, about to start a new customer service job at an electronics store. We live together again and have basically picked up where we left off when Taelor decided to gallivant off into the wilds of Cali, leaving Adryan to fend for herself back at home.
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